Kigali Memorial Centre

Sunday, August 8

It has been almost a week and I have learned more, experienced more and seen more than I could have possibly imagined. Memorial Centre, homestays with incredible Rwandan families, trip to the Eastern Province to visit rural villages and potter communities, visit to USAID, and a night out dancing in Kigali...I could write a novel right now! Instead, I will post in installments some of the highlights of my past week.

On Tuesday, August 3 we went to visit the Kigali Memorial Centre, in memory of the 1994 genocide. Visiting this centre with our Rwandan participants made the experience that much harder, but also that much more meaningul. It was hard knowing that every single one of our Rwandan friends, had been affected in some way. Many were orphaned, grew up in child-headed households, lost everything and everyone and are still struggling with post conflict reconciliation.

Walking through the memorial with them was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Standing alongside them as the stories and pictures triggered reactions and tears too painful to witness let alone to experience. And there was nothing I could do; as no arm or shoulder or hug could begin to ease any of their pain.

The memorial gave me a much greater and more holistic understanding of the genocide and the historical lead up to it, starting from before the beginnings of colonialism. Although I thought I knew the story and had done extensive research, relearning in this context was important, and I quickly realized there was so much I had yet to learn.

It was an extremely powerful and emotional museum. The guided tour began in the memorial gardens, the site of mass graves where 258 000 bodies are buried and more continue to be discovered. One of the rooms in the exhibit, I sat down to watch a video and one of the Rwandan participants sat next to me and said "I got to shool with that boy" (in the film). That moment hit me so hard and made the situation so much more real, and reminded me again, that everyone in this country today has a horrific story that they continue to live with.

One exhibit was entitled "Wasted Lives" dedicated to other genocides. I was reminded again of the continous failure of humanit and felt so hopeless and angry. The last exhibit was entitled "tomorrow lost" a tribute to "our children who should have been our future". I always find children's memorial's the hardest as stopping to look at one child and imagining the life they may have had, the contributions they may have made and their innocence and purity stripped away so untimely and unjustly is absolutely heartbreaking. One participant said "I come to this place often because I have a friend here. A little boy named Patrique. When you see him, please say hello."

The most incredible part of the day was the 3 hour derief session that followed; 98% dominated by the Rwandan participants. Many of them shared their emotional personal stories and their experiences coming to terms with the past, rebuilding a life and learning to forgive. "If I continue to hate will it bring my parents and sisters back? No. Forgiveness is essential to creating unity in our country." They talked about the process reconciliation, international perceptions of Rwanda, and what they want us to bring back home with us. We heard some heated arguments and disagreements as well as some incredibly inspiring messages from the participants about how "youth are the Rwanda of tomorrow and we must learn from the past and lead the future of progress in the country". I have never been in a more powerful debriefing session and I am so honoured to have been able to collect these stories and share back at home.

we then had to go around in a circle and state one thing we can promise to do towards achieving "never again"; phrased as "I can".

I stated, "I can refuse to remain silent."

We ended with one Rwandan participant, orphaned during the genocide, stating "no one ever has the right to take another life away." and he led us into a song, with us holding hands in a circle, in Kinyarwanda that translated to "we are all one". After hours of sharing emotional stories and debating various thoughts and opinions, this was a beautiful celeration of unity and hope.

I learned the word "Agaruka" which means, stand up. And we all must promise to do that. Stand up and raise our voices. Autrocities like the 1994 genocide in Rwanda should have never happened, and should never happen again.

We left the debrief to go to our homestay families. I look forward to writing a post about what an absolutely amazing experience that was .